Numb within

Eyes delving deep, alone without a soul Numb from everything, I’m left without a feeling I look around, I wonder why Skin abrades away, under the cavernous nails My vital fluid flowing crimson red The sting of the open lesion The only feeling that is existent The throe making this life factual Yet  the calignosity…

Scars keep growing

Devil in the form of a woman I crumble down, right to my core Your wicked words, breaking me apart I never noticed before, you left me on the floor Covered in scars, words keep dropping, scars keep growing Tears keep flowing, I keep dropping, you keep walking Never once stopping, never once looking back…

Hollow Body

My body is filled with darkness No hope left within it The love I once had is now gone Buried away with my soul The happy person who once was Is lost within the desert sun The heat peeling of the layers Uncovering what I have become Nothing more than an empty body With no…

Stupid girl your weak

Sitting and listening, the words spreading You come at me from every angle You are worthless, you are weak, you are not worth the air that you breath You shouldn’t still be breathing. Stupid girl just go and finish your life you are weak. Sitting and crying I have to agree. Those words hit me…

Opened bottle

Half empty bottle and a cigarette I slur my words, my legs unable to go forward Body swaying from side to side I start to shout throwing my hands about Hitting and kicking throwing everything I pass out on the floor, and awake within an hour I grab another bottle and drink some more My…

I See You

I see those pictures, beautiful pictures smiles and laughter I see the posts, the talking the banter the fun you share I see the time you spent together I see the effort, the effort you make to see each other Then there is me, just little old me Here alone wondering when is it my…

Words of destruction

The words I detest, the words I never wanted came crashing down on me like weights that I could not fight off. They came over and over as I fought back tears, fighting to get out of the house to get home to flee and hopefully find it was not the truth. I walk and…

A battle to get the doctor to listen 

So today is the day I see the doctor or should be a day where I end up feeling better like there is a light at the end of the tunnel but it certainly is not. I set off to go to the doctors at seven my appointment is at eight.  Getting there there is…

The big hurdle

So I did not sleep well last night that was because I knew I had money in the bank usually I wake up Monday morning anytime between 1 am and 5 am and play online and gamble weird my brain tells me to wake up at this time. I laid there fighting the urge to…