You don’t need kids to be a mother 

So before I say happy mothers day I would like to tell you all something.
It’s sad when today so many people are forgotten about, they are told they are not mothers or that certain things do not make them a mother!! 
You see a women becomes pregnant at 6 weeks age losses her baby.
She’s a mum!   Don’t you doubt that for a second.
A women gets pregnant and at 2 months is told by the doctors she needs to terminate for medical reasons.
She is a mum!   Don’t you doubt that for a second.
A women trying to conceive for 10 years after failed ivf several times more broke she sticks to getting a puppy she can be a mum to.
She is a mum!  Don’t you doubt that.
A women unable to conceive has no choice but to pay for a reborn doll.
She is a mum!   Don’t you doubt that.
That lady who only had one baby who passed away some time after birth whether it was 2 minutes or 20 years.
She is a mum!   Don’t you doubt that.
A man singly raising his children with no female presence.
He is a mum!  Don’t you doubt that.
Two men raising a baby together.
They are a mum!  Don’t you doubt that.
A lady who looks after her godchild or sister brother anything full time.
She is a mum!  Don’t you doubt that.
To many people consider a mum someone who gave birth to a child that is wrong!  A mum is someone who is maternal and caring. 
We all know some mums are not worthy of the title they have kids they hate them and show no interest in their children and honestly could not care if they where safe and well!   
That is not a mother! 
So before you judge or think she’s not even a mum she probably is you have no idea what the lady or Man is like so don’t doubt that they can’t be a mum because they can.

Happy mothers day 

Gambling needs to be opened up!

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You probably read that title thinking what does that mean?

Let’s just get a few points out there first yes gambling can be addictive and yes it can destroy lives and even kill people!  Women are becoming addicted more and more and the gap between men and women are closing fast.  Why?  Because its easier now for women to gamble.  Companies now promote their gambling websites on TV, Social media, in magazines and most show women playing!

I have spoken to a lot of women since I did my first live on facebook admitting that I have an addiction these women all basically said the same not about their addiction but how they felt!

A few things they have said and concerns they have expressed to me.

The biggest ones are they feel that because they are a women with a gambling addiction people won’t take them serious or not as serious as they would a man having one.  You hear it a lot about men having a gambling addiction but not often women.  Films, tv series show the men with gambling addictions and not women.  Most felt like if they open up people will laugh or miss judge them!

Several women have openly said they are ashamed to tell friends and family, while this is common in all addictions it is not common for them to think they won’t get support because they don’t think their family see it as a real addiction which is so worrying!

You see I know how they feel I felt the same!  To many times I was ready to open up and then decided not to because of what people would think!  But what we need to remember is no one can make us feel worse than we already do!  As far as addictions go you feel crap, worthless like we are weak minded all those and more.  The thing to remember is we already feel at our lowest which is why we are crying out for help not to be judged or insulted.  Plus more then likely no one can make us feel worse than we already do anyway.

So what is my point?  You see alcohol addiction? Drug addiction?  You go into hospitals, doctors etc and they often have flyers up about them.  You will see flyers up about quitting smoking, local alcohol anonymous meetings, numbers for drug advice.

Yet gambling?  You see the warnings and help signs where yo go to gamble!  On the toilet doors in local bingo halls, on machines in betting shops, on posters in betting shops and casinos, on the bottom of gambling websites.  But you rarely see flyers or leaflets in doctors or hospitals why is that?

It is the same for schools they do alcohol and drug awareness classes no nothing about gambling?  Why is gambling the forgotten addiction? Why is there always so much out there for other addictions?  Other then on the websites I gambled on I had never once seen a sign or a leaflet about how gambling can affect you and help if you feel like your out of control with gambling why is that?  I see it daily with other addictions.

People need to start seeing it more the signs are there more women are becoming addicted at one point women could not gamble bookies were only for men meaning 100% gambling addictions where men now gambling addictions in women is coming to 50% of all gambling addictions.  The % of how many people become addicted to gambling is rising every year yet there is never more leaflets or flyers on show.  You see adverts on drink awareness and drug awareness but again nothing for gambling?

It is now recongnised as a illness just like alcohol and drug addictions yet it is still hidden away and very much like a taboo subject!  Maybe if there was more support, more stories, more help shown publically it would make it easier for people to step up and say they have an addiction.

I have a must master list!

I list lists what can I say! It is the truth I find them comforting and kind of like goals I can tick off!  They are truly amazing or can be if they are done the right way!

 

So I started this list after my addiction I decided I would write a list of things I want to accomplish or master!  So as I tick them off I get a few things!

 

  1.  The sense I achieved something
  2.  Pride I have done it for myself
  3. Ability to do things I would never have done!
  4. Ability to add things as I wish!

Now here is the thing about this list!  It is not a, I MUST DO! If I try and try and can’t do it then that is fine I mean not everyone can high jump.  No matter how much you try and practice if the talent is not there you won’t achieve the high jump but it will be fun trying!

 

It is more a try for a minimum amount of time if I fall in love I keep at it!  If I don’t then don’t stress move on to something else!  To many people get to the end of their life thinking I wish I had tried or done more!

So I have done the following or tried in my life,

  1. Become gamble free
  2. Cross stitching
  3. Knitting
  4. Playing guitar
  5. Playing Piano
  6. Using a camcorder to film
  7. Using a boom
  8. Training to interview people on camera
  9. Filming different things.
  10. Blogging
  11. Building a website
  12. Creating my own business

 

That is just some!  Now some I have ticked because I do them I enjoy it and I am successful at it!  Some are ticked because I have accomplished them but maybe not enjoyed them so much some are still to be ticked because I quit!

 

I do not like that word!  I don’t like quitting which is why they stay on my list I will accomplish them along with other things I have written down!

 

So what is my next to do?

 

Yoga and playing the guitar!

 

I enjoyed playing the guitar it lasted around 4 months!  I bought an electric guitar and everything but soon life got in the way or that is what I said to myself and I gave it up!  But not now I am dedicating time every day to learning the guitar!

 

Yoga is something I have always been interested in but honestly, I am not flexible!  I dislike exercise routines with downward, dog in them!  Seriously I can not accomplish that at the minute but I certainly will do soon!

 

Don’t worry about if you can do it!  Put it on your list and be sure at the end of your life you have a list full of ticks to say you at least tried and had fun!

Let’s talk about mornings and well the truth!

Ok, I know what you are thinking, Mornings?  No, I am not a morning person.  I was the same I hit the snooze button constantly in a way to avoid getting out of bed!  I need more sleep, I’m too tired, Just 5 more minutes, I have time to sleep a little longer…..

 

What did I gain?  Or you?  More than likely nothing, More tired, late, rushing around, forgetting things, stress everything we did not want we got because of that horrid snooze button!

 

You see this was me I have 5 kids and only got out if I really needed to or they woke me up.  7 am I would get up!  Giving me an hour to get everything done and get all 5 kids dressed and fed yeah sounds impossible!  And it made it harder for me and caused more work!

 

You’re probably thinking “What are you waffling on about women?”  Well here’s the thing I recently implemented something amazing!  I read a book (Will be below)  and it changed my whole thinking my whole mindset and my life! I never thought I was a morning person but now I realize everyone can be we just make excuses to stay in bed longer.  But there is good news!  It is easy to change old habits and I will share a few tips from this book here for you if you’re not sure, buy the book!  There is several for every person, network marketing, parents etc.

 

So I started by setting my alarm at 4:55 AM!  Yes that is right I was up at 4:55 this morning but guess what!  I did not feel tired!  I did not feel like hitting that snooze button.  I used to before bed think, “Oh, I am going to be tired tomorrow” What did this tell my mind?  When I woke up it would tell me I am tired.  What you do and think before you fall asleep actually does affect your mornings!  You are probably like me while I was reading the book no way could that one thought make such a difference!

 

Keep reading and try implementing things I promise you will be amazed even buy the book and read it! So the next thing is rather than thinking tomorrow I am going to be tired you say to yourself before bed something like.

“I am going to sleep at __ and my alarm is set for __ I will wake up at this time and feel energized.  I will have got __ hours sleep which is enough actually no this is more than enough sleep that I need.

 

Sounds stupid but it really does work!  A lot of successful people cope with 4 or 5 hours sleep during busy schedules!  You don’t really need more than 7 or 8 hours sleep despite what you think.

 

Step 2!  Move your alarm if you have to get out of bed to turn it off.  You are then kick starting your body in the morning!  Which means your less likely to hit the snooze button!

 

Step 3 don’t get back in bed!  Go to the bathroom and splash water on your face!

 

Step 4 drink a glass of water.

 

While doing this.  Think to yourself!  “I feel energized, I had a good amount of sleep and I am ready to face today!”

 

What you do after that is up to you! You have all those hours spare now to have time to do things you do not normally do!

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Here is my morning routine!  I get a lot done and while it seems packed it isn’t rushed.  I am in a relaxed state of mind because I know I have time to do things!

 

Now for you, it will be different depending on your life, work etc.  I work from home so I implement some things into it that I need like visualization, affirmations, work etc.

 

So what book did I read?

 

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As I said there are a few books, There is the original miracle morning, then ones for network marketers, parents, entrepreneurs, writers.  Just take a look find the one or one’s you think can help you!

 

Mornings can be stressful as it is without the added stress of sleeping longer then we need to!  Go ahead try it I bet you won’t say “I am not a morning person” Anymore!

Stress control course and huge changes 

So today was day one of this 6 week course.  Every Monday I go to the course and get new information to help control stress.
But before that I started implementing a morning wake up routine and schedule! 
5am my Alarm rang I could easily have switched it off for another hour and half but no I got straight up! 

Drank a full glass of water splashed my face with water to help wake me up.

Then meditation followed by exercise.

Light reading, writing, affirmations and Visualisation.
I felt great and ready to achieve my day and handle anything that tried to knock me down!  
My morning was less stressful I even got the kids meditating.


It is never too early to start them with a good habit that can help them so much in life! 

So then along to the course I went.

Apparently depression and anxiety are closely linked to stress and often been able to control some of your stress can actually help with your anxiety and depression as well.

It’s not like counseling, no sharing stories etc just information on how to basically be your own counsellor! 
So far it seems good we get a booklet each week to take home read through and complete and try implement into our lives to help reduce stress and in turn help with anxiety and depression.

I have even started my new clean healthy eating again.


Tomorrow is day 2 of the new me! Up early with some be time to do my meditation and other important things.

Followed by a day keeping busy, working and relaxing! 

60 Days Gamble Free Fighting Addiction

If you make it through this blog post read it all that would be amazing! If you shared it would be even more amazing just think you never know who might be on that social media platform who is in the same position I was 60 days ago!  You never know who you could help just by sharing!

 

So today is day 60 of no gambling I was told it is a big deal in any addiction especially gambling and to make sure I celebrate it or at least acknowledge it.  It’s weird, It might be 60 days and to some, it seems like a lot but to me it doesn’t it seems small insignificant.  But looking back I can see why so today this blog post is a mixture.  It will be a bit about before I realized and admitted to my addiction and about the last 60 days how I overcame them when so many fail and gamble again.

But looking back I can see why so today this blog post is a mixture.  It will be a bit about before I realized and admitted to my addiction and about the last 60 days how I overcame them when so many fail and gamble again.

So why am I doing this?  Because since I opened my eyes and realized I wanted to make a change even if it was to just one person’s life!  I wanted to share my story, raise awareness and hopefully help someone else.  I decided that that first day when I broke down and felt like I had lost everything.

So I started gambling years ago like 8 to be exact nothing big started out in a local bingo hall, looking back now though I understand the amount of money I spent on them nights was a sign I was addicted before even becoming addicted!

I would play online bingo but not much then soon after slots using the same site but again not much money.

Then things turned around 3 years ago and I started playing on other websites.  That year I spent £883.73 online that is not including scratch cards I would buy weekly or should I say daily or local bingo halls I visited!  Doesn’t seem like much?  Let’s say I spent £10 on scratch cards a week.  Sometimes it would be more seen as I would often buy ones that were £10 but its an average I can only guess!  That would add £520 plus then let’s say 2 trips to bingo a month I would spend on average £70 a night not including drinks or food just on gambling that would add £840 all together £2243.73 roughly some weeks I would spend £30 on scratch cards or more!

So 2015 online I spent £6468.50 online!  I went from under £1000 in the first year to over £6000 in the second! Just online so let’s say triple the scratch cards and bingo from the first year it would add up to £10,548.50 roughly! In the second year! I don’t even know how I could afford that!  And that is just 2015.

 

Now 2016, £9,744.78 online say £4000 offline although probably more let’s say 15k in 2015!  When you think of it like that it is a lot at the time it was not it was £20 lost it add another £20 lost it add another £20 until in a few hours goodbye £300!

 

2017 in like 19 days I spent nearly £1000 imagine if in January this year I had not woken up and realized what was happening.

 

So that is how things led up from spending maybe £10 a month on gambling to over £1000.

So that night I realized I broke down!  Who did I have I could talk to or trust I had to tell someone no one knew no one all all I reached out to two people I felt I could talk to one been family the person I knew would push me to tell my dad which I knew I needed and someone I felt I could talk to who believe it or not I only knew online through business but I felt I could rely on her.

That night I broke down and said everything it felt like a relief but at the same time, I knew I had a huge battle to fight.  I then decided I would not hide my story I would not pretend everything was fine and I got together what small tiny amount of strength I had to reach out and talk on facebook on a live video so there was no way of going back!

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I had a choice hide and pretend to everyone things were perfect like most people do on facebook or tell everyone.  Yes, I was ashamed but at the same time.  I knew that someone somewhere would see my video and possibly reach out for help and that is all I wanted!

Afterward, things got hard, I went to doctors and got help for depression, anxiety, and OCD.  I had to battle with the doctors to get them to help and on my first visit I actually got laughed at. The doctor said I just needed a hobbie to mask the illnesses followed by a laugh and him saying “Obviously not gambling” I obviously left feeling deflated and ignored but still battled on booked another appointment for another doctor and had a better outcome that time.

 

The 60 days have been hard, Yes I have had thoughts about gambling I often get the common one “If I just put £20 on I could win” When that didn’t work my brain tried another way “Going to bingo isn’t the same I wasn’t addicted to that” But deep down I knew I was.  Then as time passed it was “It’s been ages since you gambled you would defintly win this time if you did”

 

Still not getting me to gamble, I have dreams! Yes dreams you would think just thoughts and emotions but no dreams as well.  The first was of me actually gambling online watching the reels spin and winning it gave me that feeling the high which it wanted so I would wake up and gamble.  But I didn’t you see that is how gambling is awful in life you win and lose all the time your taking risks all the time.  The feelings associated with them wins, loses and risks is what can trigger gambling again because they are the same feelings you get gambling.  That is why every day in life it is a battle no matter if it is day 1 day 60 or you are at 3 years of no gambling every day you get that feeling you got when you gambled!

 

Since going live on facebook and starting this blog I have had several women come to me and open up about having a addicition to gambling and thanking me for sharing my story and making them see.  That is all I want!  to help others and make them see before it spirals out of control like I did.

 

So you might be like me but thinking no I am not addicted.  Do this and I bet you will see.  If it is online look at the websites you gamble on add up how much you have gambled this month, Then last month, then the month before and so on.  Average uk household will gamble £3.20 a week!  So lets say £15 a month not much right how much more are you gambling?  You can probally even work it out if you spend offline quiet easily if you really wanted to!

Gambling is awful it draws you in and in the end only the casino wins. Not you I thought I had won several times but looking and how much I spent I lost a lot!  I seen it not long after I admitted to my addiction on a mums group on facebook!  Why the admin let it go on for hours I do not know but the signs where all there of them becoming addicted!

 

Refere a friend if they deposit £10 you get £10! If you joined and lost £10 walk away don’t draw others in in a bid to try get another £10 to spend!  If you can’t afford to put that £10 on walk away! Unfortunatly I bet a lot of them young mums will now be sucked in and addicted all because one person wanted to try get a bit more money to gamble!  I obvously stepped in and said something with no avril to be told I won’t get addicted by every single one of them!  I just though I used to say that even a day before saying I was addicted I said to myself I am not addicted!

 

So if you could share this please do!  You have no idea who is on your facebook, twittter, instagram or whatever that might in stuck and get some help by this!

 

If you are reading this please reach out to anyone even a stranger!  But it is always best to tell someone you know will force and push you to tell others so you do not hide!  I get asked why I did a live on facebook it was to raise awareness but also so I then knew if I went back and gambled I would then have to go onto facebook and do a live and tell everyone!  That I do not want to have to do!

Hospital appointment, School Visit, Birthday and Sickness bug!

What fun these last few days have been!

Due to one of the twins been sick Sunday, she was off from school Monday.  So we had a trip to our local Tesco store to get some groceries.  We then came home and waited for the others to finish school.  Monday was a quiet day in general TomorrowI planned a trip into town in the morning to finish Birthday shopping for the youngest.  Again taking Elysa as she could not go back to school till Wednesday.

 

Well, Tuesday came!  We dropped Sophia at nursery and the other 3 kids at School.  We went straight into town and did some shopping but I got a phone call around 10:15 saying Sophia had to come home.  So off we went rushing to finish and get the bus to the nursery.

When we got to the nursery, I was told she had Diarrhea and would have to stay off for 48 hours at minimum after it cleared!  I just hoped she did not get sick and spoil her birthday which was the next day.

So we went home spent the day the same pretty much in the house wrapping her presents.  Watching films and cuddling until it was time to pick kids up.

 

Wednesday Birthday!  So I woke up Wednesday got downstairs and got her presents sorted.  She came down and opened them excited and having fun.  No disappointment that I had not bought her any Teletubbies toy.

Around 7:50 she started saying she felt sick and asking for the bucket! Yes, a just turned 3-year-old asking for the sick bucket!!

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I felt awful, I took the kids to school came back and we cuddled and watched a film followed by some creative play with her new craft stuff she got for her birthday.

 

By around 4 o’clock I myself was not feeling great but put it down to stress and not eating well.  I couldn’t get ill!  Mia has her appointment at the hospital with ENT the next day and I had to visit my son’s high school he got accepted into!

 

But waking up around 11:30 I was far from OK!  Sick and diarrhea had hit me as well I was hoping it would pass quickly!  However, I ended up partly sleeping on a chair in the living room.  I say partly sleeping cause I fell asleep around 5:45 to be awakened at 6 am with the kids!  My partner took them to school and I tried to sleep with Sophia most of the day as she still was not well!  Canceling the hospital appointment and school visit. Still, ill Thursday night, however, waking up Friday feeling a lot better.  So I took a trip to Tesco and did some shopping.

 

Hopefully, next week goes a little better! I mean I should be saying hopefully it will only be us three who get the sickness bug and none of the other kids!  Otherwise yes that is right another whole week of sickness bug in the house and unable to go out not to mention the fact its mothers day soon!

Mummies Sick…Oh Well

It’s one of them things about been a mum.  You can never truly stop been a mum or not pay attention to your kids because you’re ill or having a bad day! 
Let’s look at it this way.  You get a stomach bug single mums have no choice but to get up and fight it with a  baby clutching to their leg.  It’s what been a mum is about! 
Even mums with partner’s can sometimes have to deal with it on their own because their partners work.
But what is funny is the fact even if we get told “go to bed I’ll look after the kids”  We can’t well we can but we find ourselves waking at cry wondering if they are OK.  Unable to settle because you have your own routine wondering if daddy has made dinner yet, or given the morning snack.
But you can guarantee that those times your so ill your body just collapses and you have no choice but to sleep.  Yeah that’s right your darling children choose then to scream, kick and cry for mummy until daddy takes you to her!! 
Then there is that thing you know that fact they know your ill by yourself abs weak!   “mummies poorly let’s try get biscuits or sweets out of her”   or the “mummy said movie day that means we get lots of sweets and biscuits”
We say “cheese sandwich for dinner”  kids say “I don’t like cheese no more I want pizza” 
Been a mum you can never stop or turn it off.  If your a  mum who cares and loves your children you will do relate to this and understand!   A mum no matter how ill will find it hard to ignore her baby crying out for her even if daddy is holding her.
Don’t get me wrong sometimes when I’m ill my kids behave sit nice but they are kids and it doesn’t last long!! 

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