What a week! I made it to 81 days gamble free 

I have not posted in a while..

Kids holidays so I’m spending as much time as I can with them before they go back to school! 
Working as well yes I work from home which I love but I do need to do some work every day.
Along with that personally I have changed I am so much happier now any bad things that try to get me down I am able to handle them and push them out my mind.
I have achieved so much and I’m so happy my mind is clear more clear then it has been for years!   And I’m new stepping up and realising what things in my life are wrong and need to go or be changed.
Life can not continue how it did before my addiction.  Clearly things in my past made me gamble and become addicted and those things need to change.
Today is day 81 of no gambling!!  My first time stopping with little support and I am achieving it! In not so long it will be 3 months! 
Changes are coming!! 
Tomorrow’s post is not to be missed you will see just why things got so bad for me!
Here’s a few pictures from this past week.

Easter Holiday Fun

In the holiday’s kids get so bored because Monday-Friday they have structure at school all day.  It is a time where they are constantly kept busy, Working, Playing, Creating and having fun.

 

At home there is nothing!  So here is, some things to help you get the most out of your easter holidays but also keep the children active!

 

So start with a timetable!  Yes, that is right a timetable,  This will fit all your plans, activities and meal times into one place but most importantly with this, you can create space for some me time so you do not get so stressed!

 

Be realistic with this though don’t put 8am breakfast if you know your kids will be up at 6:30 or you will all be asleep until 10am for the reason the whole schedule will shift!

 

So I will share my day two schedule I do things before the kids wake but you will get the idea.  You will see two choices the first is if the weather is nice second if it is not!

 

Kids awake 7-8am Breakfast by 9am, Kids dressed by 9:45

10 AM Music kids dancing/Kids playing in garden

11:30 AM kids in and get ready for dinner, and help prepare food

12:30 30 minutes of Screen time

1 PM Kids crafting, Cutting and sticking/Walk to the local park with ball, hula hoops etc

3PM Movie time  3pm-3:30 quiet time for mum then cook

4:45 Tea Time

5:30 Kids 30 minute screen time and reading school books

6:30 bed time

 

It might seem simple but you will be amazed by how long kids will enjoy dancing around the living room for! The idea is to get them up and active as early as possible to burn some fuel and get them a little calmer for after dinner!

 

Kids helping with dinner is also another amazing thing!  Having 5 kids it is harder but each one can help, One passes you the ingredients, one get them out the cupboards etc one puts the trimmings in the bin!

 

You really can get your kids to help and they will love it!

 

So some more ideas?

 

Messy play this is something even my 10-year-old enjoys paper all over the floor so its covered and playing with hands, feet etc.  Obviously, use old clothing!  My kids loved rolling around in the paint!  You see if you have enough paint and patience for the cleaning after your kids would stay there all day painting!

 

£1 Stores!  To many people spend £3 on plastic bats and balls when most £1 stores have them in easter holidays I believe in other countries it is called dollar shop etc.  But for £10 you can get 10 different outdoor toys!  Water guns another thing which kids will play with for hours but again if you do not have a outside tape you need patience for cleaning your floors! Same you can get these from £1 stores.

 

In the UK the cinema is amazing!  Vue mini mornings you only get one movie which isn’t amazing but if I was to go any other time or to see any other film that isn’t a mini morning it would cost me over £60!! Seriously for a 1 hour 45-minute film!  With mini mornings I believe for all 6 of us it would be £12 what a bargain!!

 

You see 2 weeks is not a long time!  Lets list some ideas below!

Dancing

Playing in garden

Messy paint play

Cutting and sticking

30 minutes of screen time

Storytime each child takes turns to pick a book

Cinema

Local park

Playing field with ball and other outside games

Movie day

Paddling pool

Water guns

Make your own pizzas

Create a play (Kids will spend all day rehearsing before showing you the final play)

Create puppets and a play

Write your own stories

Give kids a choice what would you like to do?

 

 

 

 

 

Excited, Upset, Anxious Just A Few Thoughts Of Gambling

It is amazing, isn’t it!  Just how many people kept their secrets hidden when it comes to addictions.  Something that people often see as wrong and weak and that makes people hide what they are doing for so long.

 

I have had the same questions come up in many conversations from people who think they may have a gambling addiction.

  1. That is how did you feel when you gambled?
  2. What was your mind like when you gambled?
  3. What made you realize you were addicted?

Now I am willing to share my experience and delve deeper into these areas if it could possibly help someone identify if they have an addiction or just get carried away!

 

 

That is the issue here!  Some people still believe gambling can’t be an addiction and that we just get carried away and can not stop ourselves!  When does it become an addiction?  When does it become an addiction so bad it ruins your life?  And when will people realize gambling can be an addiction!

 

Look at it this way!  Someone who drinks and gets totally wasted after not having a night out in a year more than likely just got carried away and are not an alcholic.

 

Now someone who every time they drink does this they most certainly would be perceived as an alcoholic!

 

So to answer your first question.  How did I feel when I gambled?

 

In the start I felt relaxed, I enjoyed it and got a buzz I didn’t feel anxious or stressed or like I was destroying my life.  I felt like I was having fun and relaxing!  Towards the end well let’s take the relaxed out of there!  And put in more anxiousness and more stressed.

I would get the buzz when I won however that would soon turn to annoyance and anxiousness when I couldn’t keep winning and lost!  Followed by depression, sadness and a feeling of been lost and unable to control myself!

 

Question 2 What was my mind like when I gambled?

Again in the beginning it was relaxed but hyped up waiting to see if I would win.  If I lost the £20 £30 I put on my mind wouldn’t be so bothered I would walk away still feeling good yes I lost some money but only £20!  I knew I wouldn’t gamble again for a week or so.

 

Now when it was towards the end!  My mind was a mess it is the only way to really describe it! I would put £20 on lose and it yet my mind just pushed and pushed till I put another £20 on.  My mind would say to me you can win that £20 back if you keep pushing the game to pay out.  The game sometimes would pay out £80-£300 unlike the beginning when I would take it and run or keep playing if I won £300 and had £18 left I would play with that £18 then withdraw.

The end, however, I wouldn’t I would keep hitting that button my mind telling me you can do it you can get another big win. Down to £250, Telling myself I should withdraw while my mind played tricks telling me no no keep going your close to a win.  Down to £200 and again trying to convince my mind I had to withdraw this £200 but no my mind wouldn’t it kept fighting back saying keep going there has to be a big win soon.

This would go on and one until my balance reached 0 At that point my mind would pipe up you won that much and lost over £500 including winnings deposit again your due a big win!  Telling my mind no didn’t work it did what it wanted I couldn’t fight it!

Again If while trying to win more I did get another big win would I withdraw?  No!  My mind would keep pushing at one point I had £700 it got down to £20 and knowing that was all I had left I forced myself to take it even though my mind was telling me to keep going!

 

Call it weak or addiction call it what ever you want to!  It is like an alcoholic saying just one more because that is what their mind says to them!

 

Something that is hard to answer is what made you realize you were addicted?

I kind of knew deep down I was before I said anything but my opportunity to overcome the mind was not there.  You see while I knew I was addicted if I tried to push through the just one more bet wouldn’t work my mind wouldn’t give in it did not want me to admit it out loud!  Why?  because if I did my mind would lose the control and grip on me!  People do not realize how amazing and powerful the mind really is!  But that is the point it is that powerful it can stop you speaking up about been addicted because it doesn’t want to let you go.

So that night I did speak up well let’s just say I hit rock bottom!  I spent all my money that week on gambling rent was sat there and I spent that! Gone over £1000 in just 2 hours.  Realization hit I couldn’t hide it anymore my mind at that point was like go on gamble again you can win it back.  But as my emotions were totally a mess and I had a break down that is what let me get it out there!

 

The first step was to make sure I would tell someone so I messaged someone I knew online I knew however she was busy so tried calling my sister who didn’t answer!  I knew I had little time to say it before my mind told me everything would work out and stop me.  So my friend online called me and I broke down on the phone crying explaining what was happening. It felt like a huge burden had been lifted off me I felt like I was finally beating my mind at its tricks!  Then I called my sister and again broke down on the phone crying explaining it to her.  At first she though I just spent the rent money until I explained no I have an addiction I have lost over £3000 in 4 weeks!

 

At this point, my mind tried taking back control telling me it would be ok and to try again to win back my losses.  So I decided no I won’t let my mind win!  Login into facebook I hit the live button and explained I had a gambling addiction!  And that I would beat it!  Now some people say it took courage which it did but to me, that was my way of beating my mind more!  I was so confident I would beat this disease I spoke outloud on a facebook live telling the whole world or those who seen it!  It was public so anyone could see!

 

You see to say it is as simple as just stopping or we just get carried away is wrong!  Gambling addiction is like any other the mind takes control!  Who would have though your mind could do that!  But it really can that just 1 more bet turns into £1000 gone!

 

Think about your gambling do you see signs of addiction?   You are best to say something quickly as soon as the mind is quiet usually after you have just lost all your money available it will stop because it can not tell you just one more bet.  At that point, you need to fight your mind and say it out loud so others hear and beat this disease!

 

Today is day 73 of no gambling for me!  And I will continue to keep fighting my mind and take back control of my life!

 

Mind is now open and 10 weeks gamble free!

So huray I have made it to 10 weeks of no gambling today is exactly day 71!! I feel like I accomplishing things a lot more and not gambling has also made me have a clear mind and realise a  lot of things.

So what have I accomplished in these 10 weeks??  Amazing things yes the beginning was hard and I struggled to even think straight!!   But slowly things started getting better.
I got myself into a routine where I had time to myself and help my mind heal.

I’m not saying it is not still hard!   Picking up one of them magazines with real life stories seeing the full page adverts saying £30 free does make me stop and think.

But I am strong enough and I keep fighting those thoughts.
Other things have came to be clearer I realised how stressed I was.  How easily I was annoyed at the slightest thing.  But most importantly things have became clear.  I have noticed a lot of things that are wrong in my life.  also a lot of things that actually could have pushed me to gamble.
Things are about to change it might take me a few months but these are changing and it will be amazing and help so much.

You don’t need kids to be a mother 

So before I say happy mothers day I would like to tell you all something.
It’s sad when today so many people are forgotten about, they are told they are not mothers or that certain things do not make them a mother!! 
You see a women becomes pregnant at 6 weeks age losses her baby.
She’s a mum!   Don’t you doubt that for a second.
A women gets pregnant and at 2 months is told by the doctors she needs to terminate for medical reasons.
She is a mum!   Don’t you doubt that for a second.
A women trying to conceive for 10 years after failed ivf several times more broke she sticks to getting a puppy she can be a mum to.
She is a mum!  Don’t you doubt that.
A women unable to conceive has no choice but to pay for a reborn doll.
She is a mum!   Don’t you doubt that.
That lady who only had one baby who passed away some time after birth whether it was 2 minutes or 20 years.
She is a mum!   Don’t you doubt that.
A man singly raising his children with no female presence.
He is a mum!  Don’t you doubt that.
Two men raising a baby together.
They are a mum!  Don’t you doubt that.
A lady who looks after her godchild or sister brother anything full time.
She is a mum!  Don’t you doubt that.
To many people consider a mum someone who gave birth to a child that is wrong!  A mum is someone who is maternal and caring. 
We all know some mums are not worthy of the title they have kids they hate them and show no interest in their children and honestly could not care if they where safe and well!   
That is not a mother! 
So before you judge or think she’s not even a mum she probably is you have no idea what the lady or Man is like so don’t doubt that they can’t be a mum because they can.

Happy mothers day 

Gambling needs to be opened up!

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You probably read that title thinking what does that mean?

Let’s just get a few points out there first yes gambling can be addictive and yes it can destroy lives and even kill people!  Women are becoming addicted more and more and the gap between men and women are closing fast.  Why?  Because its easier now for women to gamble.  Companies now promote their gambling websites on TV, Social media, in magazines and most show women playing!

I have spoken to a lot of women since I did my first live on facebook admitting that I have an addiction these women all basically said the same not about their addiction but how they felt!

A few things they have said and concerns they have expressed to me.

The biggest ones are they feel that because they are a women with a gambling addiction people won’t take them serious or not as serious as they would a man having one.  You hear it a lot about men having a gambling addiction but not often women.  Films, tv series show the men with gambling addictions and not women.  Most felt like if they open up people will laugh or miss judge them!

Several women have openly said they are ashamed to tell friends and family, while this is common in all addictions it is not common for them to think they won’t get support because they don’t think their family see it as a real addiction which is so worrying!

You see I know how they feel I felt the same!  To many times I was ready to open up and then decided not to because of what people would think!  But what we need to remember is no one can make us feel worse than we already do!  As far as addictions go you feel crap, worthless like we are weak minded all those and more.  The thing to remember is we already feel at our lowest which is why we are crying out for help not to be judged or insulted.  Plus more then likely no one can make us feel worse than we already do anyway.

So what is my point?  You see alcohol addiction? Drug addiction?  You go into hospitals, doctors etc and they often have flyers up about them.  You will see flyers up about quitting smoking, local alcohol anonymous meetings, numbers for drug advice.

Yet gambling?  You see the warnings and help signs where yo go to gamble!  On the toilet doors in local bingo halls, on machines in betting shops, on posters in betting shops and casinos, on the bottom of gambling websites.  But you rarely see flyers or leaflets in doctors or hospitals why is that?

It is the same for schools they do alcohol and drug awareness classes no nothing about gambling?  Why is gambling the forgotten addiction? Why is there always so much out there for other addictions?  Other then on the websites I gambled on I had never once seen a sign or a leaflet about how gambling can affect you and help if you feel like your out of control with gambling why is that?  I see it daily with other addictions.

People need to start seeing it more the signs are there more women are becoming addicted at one point women could not gamble bookies were only for men meaning 100% gambling addictions where men now gambling addictions in women is coming to 50% of all gambling addictions.  The % of how many people become addicted to gambling is rising every year yet there is never more leaflets or flyers on show.  You see adverts on drink awareness and drug awareness but again nothing for gambling?

It is now recongnised as a illness just like alcohol and drug addictions yet it is still hidden away and very much like a taboo subject!  Maybe if there was more support, more stories, more help shown publically it would make it easier for people to step up and say they have an addiction.

I have a must master list!

I list lists what can I say! It is the truth I find them comforting and kind of like goals I can tick off!  They are truly amazing or can be if they are done the right way!

 

So I started this list after my addiction I decided I would write a list of things I want to accomplish or master!  So as I tick them off I get a few things!

 

  1.  The sense I achieved something
  2.  Pride I have done it for myself
  3. Ability to do things I would never have done!
  4. Ability to add things as I wish!

Now here is the thing about this list!  It is not a, I MUST DO! If I try and try and can’t do it then that is fine I mean not everyone can high jump.  No matter how much you try and practice if the talent is not there you won’t achieve the high jump but it will be fun trying!

 

It is more a try for a minimum amount of time if I fall in love I keep at it!  If I don’t then don’t stress move on to something else!  To many people get to the end of their life thinking I wish I had tried or done more!

So I have done the following or tried in my life,

  1. Become gamble free
  2. Cross stitching
  3. Knitting
  4. Playing guitar
  5. Playing Piano
  6. Using a camcorder to film
  7. Using a boom
  8. Training to interview people on camera
  9. Filming different things.
  10. Blogging
  11. Building a website
  12. Creating my own business

 

That is just some!  Now some I have ticked because I do them I enjoy it and I am successful at it!  Some are ticked because I have accomplished them but maybe not enjoyed them so much some are still to be ticked because I quit!

 

I do not like that word!  I don’t like quitting which is why they stay on my list I will accomplish them along with other things I have written down!

 

So what is my next to do?

 

Yoga and playing the guitar!

 

I enjoyed playing the guitar it lasted around 4 months!  I bought an electric guitar and everything but soon life got in the way or that is what I said to myself and I gave it up!  But not now I am dedicating time every day to learning the guitar!

 

Yoga is something I have always been interested in but honestly, I am not flexible!  I dislike exercise routines with downward, dog in them!  Seriously I can not accomplish that at the minute but I certainly will do soon!

 

Don’t worry about if you can do it!  Put it on your list and be sure at the end of your life you have a list full of ticks to say you at least tried and had fun!

Let’s talk about mornings and well the truth!

Ok, I know what you are thinking, Mornings?  No, I am not a morning person.  I was the same I hit the snooze button constantly in a way to avoid getting out of bed!  I need more sleep, I’m too tired, Just 5 more minutes, I have time to sleep a little longer…..

 

What did I gain?  Or you?  More than likely nothing, More tired, late, rushing around, forgetting things, stress everything we did not want we got because of that horrid snooze button!

 

You see this was me I have 5 kids and only got out if I really needed to or they woke me up.  7 am I would get up!  Giving me an hour to get everything done and get all 5 kids dressed and fed yeah sounds impossible!  And it made it harder for me and caused more work!

 

You’re probably thinking “What are you waffling on about women?”  Well here’s the thing I recently implemented something amazing!  I read a book (Will be below)  and it changed my whole thinking my whole mindset and my life! I never thought I was a morning person but now I realize everyone can be we just make excuses to stay in bed longer.  But there is good news!  It is easy to change old habits and I will share a few tips from this book here for you if you’re not sure, buy the book!  There is several for every person, network marketing, parents etc.

 

So I started by setting my alarm at 4:55 AM!  Yes that is right I was up at 4:55 this morning but guess what!  I did not feel tired!  I did not feel like hitting that snooze button.  I used to before bed think, “Oh, I am going to be tired tomorrow” What did this tell my mind?  When I woke up it would tell me I am tired.  What you do and think before you fall asleep actually does affect your mornings!  You are probably like me while I was reading the book no way could that one thought make such a difference!

 

Keep reading and try implementing things I promise you will be amazed even buy the book and read it! So the next thing is rather than thinking tomorrow I am going to be tired you say to yourself before bed something like.

“I am going to sleep at __ and my alarm is set for __ I will wake up at this time and feel energized.  I will have got __ hours sleep which is enough actually no this is more than enough sleep that I need.

 

Sounds stupid but it really does work!  A lot of successful people cope with 4 or 5 hours sleep during busy schedules!  You don’t really need more than 7 or 8 hours sleep despite what you think.

 

Step 2!  Move your alarm if you have to get out of bed to turn it off.  You are then kick starting your body in the morning!  Which means your less likely to hit the snooze button!

 

Step 3 don’t get back in bed!  Go to the bathroom and splash water on your face!

 

Step 4 drink a glass of water.

 

While doing this.  Think to yourself!  “I feel energized, I had a good amount of sleep and I am ready to face today!”

 

What you do after that is up to you! You have all those hours spare now to have time to do things you do not normally do!

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Here is my morning routine!  I get a lot done and while it seems packed it isn’t rushed.  I am in a relaxed state of mind because I know I have time to do things!

 

Now for you, it will be different depending on your life, work etc.  I work from home so I implement some things into it that I need like visualization, affirmations, work etc.

 

So what book did I read?

 

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As I said there are a few books, There is the original miracle morning, then ones for network marketers, parents, entrepreneurs, writers.  Just take a look find the one or one’s you think can help you!

 

Mornings can be stressful as it is without the added stress of sleeping longer then we need to!  Go ahead try it I bet you won’t say “I am not a morning person” Anymore!

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