Going to bed all I wanted was a simple night, a night of no noise and perfect sleep
All I could hear, is the screams of your fighting, the glass smashing on the floor, the thud of you fighting on the living room floor
The blanket hiding my head, hiding me from everything I hear downstairs, my eyes slowly closing but the visions are still there
Why can’t you just stop and see what you’re doing, I may not be getting hit but the thuds go straight through me
I drift asleep and pray tomorrow when I wake, there will be no damage that is noticeable.
The smoke drifting out the cracks of the walls, my breathing falling short, waking up all I can see is black, the thickness of the smoke hurting my eyes
Walking downstairs, I cough and I splutter, I fighting for my breath and I pray for my brother
I didn’t know what to expect when I walked through that door, would the kitchen be melting on the floor
There you were, trying to get the smoke out, your hands wafting the towel like its going to save this house
The towel is weak, it can’t save this house, after all that’s all it is a house, not a home
You put the pan on the aim to cook some chips at 3am in the morning I couldn’t breath because of it.
Too drunk to stay awake, you fell asleep, you nearly killed us all and for what a drink!
I hope you feel proud because even now I still cry, some nights I smell smoke and I close my eyes
The memory of that night thick in my mind, I stumble downstairs, preparing to cry
The kitchen is clear, no one is here to cook that shit up, because I live alone yet that memory stills sucks
It sticks in my mind, it is on replay, the smell of the smoke never goes away, many nights I wake up and wonder what is that
I tell myself don’t be a fool girl it isn’t real now
Yet I can’t stop myself, petrified like I was a child, walking downstairs wondering is this how I am going to die