So your thinking your into BDSM?

Now, a lot of people are into BDSM, some are into just one part others are into a lot of it.

Before, I even discuss it I will say this, it is only BDSM with it is CONSENTING ADULTS

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That means everyone is over the legal age, and everyone consents to what happens, by saying what they do and do not want to be tried.

Before starting anything, you need to figure out what it is you want, is it just bondage?  Do you like pain? do you like inflicting pain?  Is being degraded sexually arousing for you? Do you like to take charge or follow?

Now I am a switch, often people have no idea what that is but a switch is someone who is both Submissive and Dominant they switch between the two, sometimes with the same partner sometimes with another partner or it changes based on the sex of the partner.

For a switch, the same rules apply, when they are submissive, they make the rules, they say what is soft limits etc.  They say what they are certainly never willing to try.

Just as when I switch to a Domme, it is all the submissive choice.  See, people think the Dom has all the control, when if you look back they don’t they are working from that they have been told is okay, hence the submissive being able to just relax and trust 100% they will be okay.  The submissive gives up her free will, again the Dom doesn’t demand and take it although it may come across that way, the submissive has already agreed to give it up.

Now, people say “Oh they are not a true submissive” There is no definition of a true submissive, each submissive prefers their own things, Sadist, Pet play, Age play, bondage, humiliation, degrading, fetishes etc.

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So the whole not a true submissive is fake, each submissive is different, now I am not saying that everyone who says or thinks they are a submissive is, because some won’t be.
Just because you like to be tied to the bed and spanked it doesn’t mean your a submissive.

A submissive is someone who often wants to please their partner 100% in any way they can. They will willingly give up full control, a submissive is told what to do most of the time, yes it sounds like the Dom is controlling but only within her limits.
If you are someone who likes to be tied up and spanked, but at the same time want to say no, at every chance you can chance is your not a submissive your just into Bondage. A submissive, can often say no, but usually it is for a reason, because they want to be punished, something seriously doesn’t feel right, not just because they don’t feel in the mood to give their Master a blow job.
Masochisms, like pain and degrading. It is a form of pleasure, I am a Sadist, nothing sends me wilder than the pain, why, I have no idea but it is something I love. There is often a limit to each person’s pain though, some like just to be spanked or whipped hard on the ass.
Others, like being slapped around the face, bitten, hot wax, piercing yes that can be part of BDSM. Some experiment with knives, now I don’t suggest you do that until your 100% sure, slowly build up to it, and certainly only with a CONSENTING ADULT!

If at any point the submissive says the safe word you have to stop, you cant think that just because your a Dom you overpower her, the submissive overpowers the Dom.
Degrading is a thing, how it is done depends again on the Dom/Sub, some Sub’s will only like degrading in the bedroom away from others. Some will like to the called “Dirty little Slut” Or “Your my fucktoy” Some will like it to go way past that, where they are degrading in public, pissed on, spat at etc.
Each person has their own limits for what they like and do not like

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Sadists are ones who like to be inflicting the pain, they get a thrill out of it sometimes sexual sometimes not, and there is nothing wrong with it. They are the ones who find pleasure in calling you a “Dirty fucking slut” But some don’t now Sadists don’t have to like inflicting pain and degrading, some may like just one of the two.
I will say this, before you delve into it, research, make sure your partner is open to it, make sure they understand as well, especially if you are wanting to try to dominate them, they have to have the say in what is allowed and is not.
Often enough people hear BDSM and think, it is a submissive being lazy, far from it, or that it is all about pain and being hog tied, again far from it.
Each relationship that has BDSM in is different, the only things that make them similar are.

CONSENTING ADULTS

GUIDELINES

SAFE WORDS

All the relationships have consenting adults, guidelines for how far the submissive and dominate are willing to go and safe words.

Now, some people think that it isn’t possible to be a submissive and a dominate it is, as I said before it is known as switch.

Same as some think if your submissive you can’t be a Sadist, not true you can be, I am a wide range of things, a switch, Sadist, Machoism sometimes a brat but it depends who I am with, when it is a male partner, I often go to being submissive, I don’t have any thrill or feelings to dominate a man, I am a Machoism when I am a submissive.

With women, I am a Domme, I also become a Sadist, it is just the way I am hence no two are the exact same.

So, you may see or read something here that makes you think, no thank you. That doesn’t mean BDSM isn’t for you, it just means that part of it isn’t.  There is a lot out there you don’t know about, a lot you think you know and often it is your own fear stopping you from trying something, fear that is caused by not knowing the truth.

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