Let’s talk about the perfect Erotica scene

Creating a perfect erotica scene is not easy, for some, they are able to just think and write at the same time, freely without having to stop and think what next.

Typically, that is me, I can write freely, my mind completely open and free. Sometimes I find it harder and do have to stop and think, what next? For the fact if I don’t want all my scenes to be identical, I want them to be different the same items may be used yes, but I try to change how they are used.

The biggest thing that holds you back writing erotica is your own mine, I don’t mean it not been equipped to write the scenes I mean the way you look at erotica and others around you.
If I listened and took in what everyone said about erotica I would never write a word. When your writing, if all that you can think of is, my sister hates these books, my partner thinks they are dirty and wrong. You’re blocking yourself, they are not doing it you are by letting them.

You need to be in a place where you feel you can write freely and express yourself, most erotica writers, write what they know, what they experienced which is why it comes so easily, some think, and create the story in their mind adding things they don’t really know about to make it more exciting.

Imagine writing an erotica scene, and you are thinking about all those around you who are judging you. For a lot, it will block them, make them struggle to actually write a good erotica scene.

For me, I have this from most people, not so much family but others around me, strangers etc. I don’t sit there and let it affect me though, I write freely about my experiences, things I know and things I am interested in.

You’re other issue, is writing what you don’t know. If you’re trying to write an erotica scene like one of mine in book two, or the main one at the end of book one. You need to know what your writing, or read about it. You can easily put off readers by saying something wrong at the moment you shouldn’t.

So why do we write erotica? Well everyone has their own reasons, some do it as a release a way to get their fantasies out of their mind, others write about their own sex lives, whether it is sex or BDSM, some are just creative, while they have no interest in BDSM in real life, they are amazing at writing it, they study and learn.
So things you need before you start that erotica scene?

Be away from anyone who will judge, all that will do is have you constantly wondering if they are watching you. So do it away from those who would like to make you feel bad for writing.

Empty your mind completely, like you do during sex, or BDSM. You completely empty your mind, only thinking about what is important in those minutes/hours. You can’t write a good erotica scene if your thinking about gas bills, and children’s lunches. Just like if you were submissive, you wouldn’t truly enjoy the moment if your thinking about putting the washing on.

Your mind needs to be completely free and empty so that all it is left is that scene you need to create.

The next thing is to think about it, if you’re not used to writing erotica, you may struggle to just sit down and write the scene, even when I have it planned perfectly in my head, sometimes afterwards I go back and edit it. So think about it, how do you want it to start, the key points you want readers to pick up on and the ending.

After you have start writing, some will go through and edit what they wrote while writing, others will write the whole scene out then go back through and read it to see what needs changing.
Don’t be afraid to use words that others might now like, if your writing BDSM, and there is submissive, there are words that some will find a turn on, some find being called a slut a turn on, others find been called dirty bitches a turn on.

Often, if you write it well enough, and show how the person reacts in a good way, the readers won’t switch off, it will draw them in. You need to remember everyone finds things they like that others don’t.

Don’t be afraid to be very detailed, sure you can write something like.

I pulled at his shirt, unable to control myself, I heard the buttons hitting the floor as I ripped his shirt open.
My hands trailed down his chest, just as he lifted my dress up and over my head.
His hands gripped my ass and lifted me up, wrapping my legs around him, as his body pinned mine against the wall, we fucked and I loved every minute of it, afterwards, all I wanted was more.
Now it isn’t detailed in the sex scene itself, sure it is detailed before to show the passion.

If that is how you write it is fine, but if your open minded write more something like this.

I pulled him to me, my hands fighting to get his shirt off, I heard the buttons falling on the floor as I ripped it open. He grabbed my dress and lifted it off, exposing my breasts before grabbing my ass and lifting me, my legs wrapping around him.

My hands trailed through his hair, I pulled on it moaned as I tipped my head back giving his mouth access to kiss it. I felt his cock pushing against me, I tried pushing down on it, wanting to feel him inside of me.
He trusted his hips, his cock smashing inside of me making me scream and sending me wild. His hips moving hard and fast, as his mouth trailed kisses down my neck towards my breasts.
I moaned as I felt his cock moving in and out of me, I felt every sense of my body screaming for more, I couldn’t resist him any longer.

Now it has more details, not just before but about the act itself, if your open to and not embarrassed by writing something like that then do it!
People don’t realise, BDSM and erotica books are like women’s porn sounds crazy, but women can read an erotica or BDSM book and get just as turned on as a guy would watching porn!

Now to some that might actually put them off and make them think, no thank you. To me, though I like the idea, the idea that somewhere women may not be feeling herself, may not be feeling sexual and she reads my books and her partner is then grateful for them as well as her!

So go as far as your comfortable, keep an open mind and don’t restrict yourself based on what others think.


11 Comments Add yours

  1. dave94015 says:

    Reblogged this on dave94015 and commented:
    You can’t write a good erotica scene if your thinking about gas bills, and children’s lunches…how to write erotica


  2. dave94015 says:

    I liked your advice on writing erotica and the insight that it can be arousing mostly to women (men prefer porn).

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, I would rather read erotica then watch porn.


  3. sissy7144 says:

    Reading erotica is always better!


    1. It is, I think it is because rather then seeing, your reading, so your mind makes up the characters, the room etc.


  4. I think it is important to not drone out the same old words every time also. Or corniness… You can only read, “She grasped his hard tool…” so many times before you roll your eyes and skip ahead…


    1. Exactly, you need to change it up slightly each time, changing the word grasped and tool.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. phillswrites says:

    Newb erotica writer here. Thank you for sharing this advice. I’m so critical of what I’m writing sometimes, I think it’s when those negative voices are in my head telling me about what people hate. I love the idea of clearing your mind before writing a scene.

    I also get caught up on using different words and hoping not to offend . I like how you worked through that.

    I also prefer reading erotica over watching porn.

    Anyway thanks again!


    1. I am still now critical of my work, even after amazing reviews I still read through and think I can do better. I tend to write for myself more, because there is always someone who likes what you do. You will displease some readers but please others. There is no way to please every reader, 50 shades is a very good proven fact for that.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. These are amazing tips, thank you!


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