Exhausted, Worn out and A Mess

That is me right now, exhausted, worn out, and a mess.  Today has been one of those days where it is one struggle after another.

One good thing ten crazy bad things, it is expected with five kids though, but this month always gets to me, every march I feel more down than I normally would.

So this me, laid in bed putting on a filter cause I look so bad!  Filters always help no matter how worn down you are.28537759_1971724676488692_1434710049_n

So I am just sat here in bed, thinking, reflecting and wondering. Like most parent’s do when all the children are asleep. I often look around me and wonder if this it? Is this my life I now am living for the next 20-30 years.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids and would not trade them for any other life, but I wonder how things got to this, got to me been sat alone every night, me been the one and only one cleaning every second of the day but the house never looks clean, me being the only one to ever cook and often cooking but never eating myself.

The 15th of March, is my daughters birthday, while it is a happy day, it is also a sad day. It is my Nana’s birthday, and thinking about it always makes me sad that she is no longer here. I have my daughter as a constant reminder, a blessing and just pure joy that she was born on her birthday. However, it still makes that date and around it hard.

Enough of my dwelling on, I figured I would give an update because I have been so out of touch!
So here are our two new editions. Mocha and Peanut the guinea pigs with my daughter Mia. They are very loved and settled and part of our family now.

 

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So leading from this picture.  Here is an update on Mia, doctors said she has trichotillomania and it is possibly physiological.  So there is a battle I am facing her hair is slowly growing back on top where she was nearly bald.  However, that does not stop her pulling out fresh hair and old hair again.

I mean her hair reminds me of a young child’s where only the back can go up.  The top is to short.  Or only the top can as the sides are too short.  This is what her hair reminds me of.  It makes me cry when I look at pictures, seeing her beautiful hair gone and all different lengths.

 

Snowmageddon A few pictures, this is the first snow day we have had where all the kids could go out and play.  Typically Mia is too ill, she was okay this year so took the opportunity to grab loads of photos.  Over 100 so I won’t throw them all at you, even Marshmallow enjoyed his first taste of snow!

To end it, my book is doing good, it reached top 10 today on one of Amazons charts. I had a lot, of negative criticism from people who had not even read the book or the sample! Just people clearly wanting to push me down.

I didn’t let it, the reviews and sales speak volumes, had they been right the reviews would reflect it.

So part 2 will be available soon, however, I am in the process of making a poetry book. From child to adult where poems from when I was a child to now are in it. Poems that reflect how I felt, what happened in my life, and emotions I went through as a child and adult.

I would love to thank everyone who has been reading this past week and will continue to especially this month when things become the most difficult.
Number 8! Go me!

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