No two victims are the same

bullying-959433_960_720What is the year? 1845? You would think it the way some people seem to not realize that no victims are the same and are effected differently from their abusers. People assume that because they were fine or someone they know was ok that well everyone else who suffers should as well.

Fact is no two victims are the same 2 victims can be put through the exact same abuse for the same time frame by the same person in their life and the outcome and effect will be different. So why do you hear it all the time?
So here is a story for you, a story about my son and how he was bullied and reactions from others around us.
He was told things like to man up and take it, He was a wuss for crying when a girl beat him! Now the fact is if he had tried to fight back against a girl he would then have been beaten more for hitting a girl! He was called spoiled because he couldn’t deal with it on his own.
Then I was told stick and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me! Do people not realize that words cause a scare no one can see? A scare that permanently damages a mind!
Then the comments came comparing him to others, My daughter was bullied on Instagram we just blocked the bullies and it never happened again. My son was bullied by kids on the street he fought them and never had an issue.
My sister even said her son was bullied for two years till he stood up to them and is totally fine. No sorry, he is not totally fine not in the mind if he is telling others to now bully my son!
People forget how many kids take their lives because they are not mentally prepared or mentally stable enough to take the abuse and bullying. A 9-year-old took her own life! The news is filled with stories of kids who struggled to cope with bullying and could not see anything way out! Some were in the position where the parents did not care and told him to stand up against them and they will be fine.
Not every child is able to stand up against bullies! And even if they can find the strength to if they are not strong enough they will be beaten laughed at and still continue to be bullied!
So here is my point just because your son or daughter was ok and had no issues with been bullied does not mean you should make out like every child should be! How would you feel if you told a parent oh they will be fine my son was bullied for a year and is fine now it has stopped. To then three weeks later realize they took your advice and that child took their life?

No two child are the same no two children will react the same to been bullied think about it before you go telling parents to let their kids get on with it, or saying they are a wuss for crying over it!

Now I will give a bit of background info so you understand. When in year 4 my son was bullied so much he started to starve himself at school and then slowly at home. On one occasion the bullies threw his bag into a tree and laughed. Seems like child play right? Not when it happened most days and teachers were fed up with it they just didn’t care and stopped trying to get his bag out for him!
He would have his coat taken and hidden on a daily basis, his shoes hidden, packed lunch. He was spiralling into depression and acting out a lot at home. The end was me pulling him out of school to home educate him. He was having packed lunches and not eating I went to several times and the conclusion was to give him something else he would like for instance a Greggs sausage roll yes the school suggested an unhealthy food! Just to get him eating day two of me buying him one on the way to school he came home with it still in his bag.

The school then put in place where my son would be escorted to dinner sat with and watched while he ate. Day one of that my son come home again with a full packed lunch. Asked why the teacher did not watch him and he was told he had to go to her at dinner time which meant walking through the school and past bullies.
So another trip in and they agreed they would collect him from class and go to the dinner hall with him day one all his food gone day two none eaten. Asked him why and his response the teacher left me with another student and which student? One of his bullies!

So he was home-schooled in year 6 he was finally offered a place at a school which said they would watch him and make sure he was ok and guess what they did! For that whole year yes he got bullied but it was resolved the same day not weeks later like the old school. Six weeks before he left year 6 we moved and he went to a new school.

Then he went to the high school skip 3 months after him starting high school and we are here today him at home been home-schooled a broken child that cries for just about any reason these days.

You see while it was going on for three months I did not find out until the third month I found out on Instagram! I was checking his phone and seeing comments like “Go crawl under a rock” “Bruv you got dropped by a girl and cried go away” “Lol Kyle you got a dropped by a girl go crawl in your hole” ” You should just jump off a cliff no wait a stone is high enough for you”

Asking my son what they meant by he got dropped by a girl and what happened. He shrugged it off like it was nothing. I asked him about the other comments and he again shrugged it off like it was nothing. Sat there though, thinking about it I started to realize things from before, he was withdrawn and cried for any reason. If I told him to put something down it could take me up to 10 times to say it before he realized and did then would again start crying. He was coming home eating one or 2 chips or pieces of chicken claiming he was full.
So I put him on a packed lunch because before that he was spending average £4 to £6 a day! Packed lunches came home empty some days but he still claimed he was not hungry at tea time. How could one sandwich fill him up to the point he did not feel hungry for the rest of the day? So I finally got him to accept it and he took the evidence to school. He said he had told them about the girl who pushed him to the floor and repeatedly kicked him and nothing had been done. The cyber bullies he reported the first teacher explained there is always going to be a positive and negative outcome of social media! A negative outcome is people saying they do not like your video or disagreeing with a view you have, not saying a child should climb under a rock or jump off a cliff! That is cyber bullying, not negative attention! To then for him to be told by the same teacher it was him who caused it by joining Instagram!

Forget Instagram it has started before that! In school, his own cousin telling people he needed to be taught a lesson and laughing to my face when telling me my son had to go back to school cause one of his friends kicked him in the back of the legs and tried wiping him out! This child was meant to be in isolation for a day but refused to go so no punishment but still bullied my son!
So my son told the school on the Thursday about the kids from school on Instagram showing them what was said. The school did nothing till the following Thursday! They told my son the issue had been resolved so obviously my son believed and said he was happy with the outcome! That night the exact same thing happened again! He went to school and told the teachers for again nothing to be done.

Now into the Christmas holidays, I witnessed myself the nasty vile work of these bullies! Calling my son on facebook messenger threatening to beat him for apparently telling people he was going to beat up his sister. His sister been the girl who threw him to the floor and beat my son up! When she was confronted for a name of who told her this she could not say she panicked saying James, Jake, Jack or someone starting with a J?
Yeah, so no proof asked if she knew his year and no she did not know what year he was in. Asked if she could point him out to the school to teachers and no she said she can’t remember what he looks like?

They then proceeded to call my son names down the phone not knowing it was on speaker phone and I was listening when I heard enough I spoke up and the whole story changed they accused my son of just calling them names on the phone. Said they did nothing wrong when they realized I had been listening to the whole time they hung up and messaged saying they were going to get him at school.
So I withdrew him, It is disgusting to think bullying no longer stays in school. The head teachers response was just awful! Saying the teacher explained the risks of social media to Kyle. Not that she tried to resolve it so the first teacher he told shrugged it off, The other teacher took so long to apparently resolve that they assumed Kyle was happy because they told him the day before term ended that it was sorted. He told them on Friday it was not and their response they did not have time to investigate as it was the end of the term. Plus they did not know if it was in school out of school or on social media! So my son told them what happened did not make it clear that it was all three although he did.
The girl even though I mentioned it three times in the email how she was not punished or even spoken to regarding throwing him on the floor and kicking him was ignored the head teacher did not even comment on that.

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