The big hurdle

So I did not sleep well last night that was because I knew I had money in the bank usually I wake up Monday morning anytime between 1 am and 5 am and play online and gamble weird my brain tells me to wake up at this time.

I laid there fighting the urge to find some way of gambling every time I fell back to sleep I woke up thinking about gambling I knew I had money and it was so attached it used that my mind kept telling me I had money why not just put a bit on top win some of the £600 back but I didn’t and eventually I fell asleep but still kept waking up all night.

I was so tired taking the kids to school and nursery. Ringing the doctors trying to get an appointment to help with my anxiety depression and OCD but I had no luck, I went home and cuddled in bed with my partner and slept until it was time to get my daughter from nursery.

I feel like I’m in a dream things don’t feel real still they are but it doesn’t feel like it. Sat downstairs with her I started feeling anxious and fidgety but at the same time, I could not be bothered to do anything.

That passed fine I was still in shock and numb I thought this was easy all I had to do was say no but deep down I knew that this wouldn’t be so easy and I soon found out just what is like to stop gambling after an addiction.

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